But the question reinforces the stigma surrounding penis size — particularly in male-male hook-up culture — that drives many men to feel ashamed, embarrassed or undesirable. Having a preference is one thing. But as Sam tells me, certain preferences become idealised and strengthened through their repetition in media culture — with particular reference to porn and dating apps. The result, of course, risks edging out bodies, people and identities perceived to be "different". When it comes to penis size in male-male hook up culture, individuals can end up afraid of dating, put off sexual activity and in some cases abstain from sex altogether to remove themselves from the risk of being shamed, or feeling shamed. Yet, penis size-shaming continues to be broadly presented as a joke in popular culture, as this recent Guardian article surmised so well.